Always Been You Read online

  “I’m sure none of the guys do since they need all the help they can get,” I said.

  “Very funny, Jen,” said Matt.

  “So who’s going with who?” asked Katie.

  “I’ll take Jenna with me and we’ll meet you guys there,” said Jacob.

  Before I could object, Jacob quickly grabbed onto my sleeve and started yanking me towards his black Nissan 350z.

  “You could’ve just asked you know,” I said wryly, as we hopped into the sports car.

  “Nah, this is more fun,” he chuckled. “Besides, we didn’t finish our talk today.”

  “It’s not my fault your fan club is so obsessed with you,” I teased.

  “So what exactly happened between you and Ethan?” asked Jacob, blatantly ignoring my amused grin. “I thought you guys were getting along.”

  “We were, but it started getting awkward for me,” I said. “At the beginning he seemed like a decent guy, but I quickly found out he wasn’t what I thought he was. I guess he only acted sweet just so I would go out with him. Once we started dating, I then realised we had nothing in common. We even ended up fighting over things that were so petty. Seriously, who do you know picks fights over something small, like how big a meatball should be? But then there is this one occurring thing that we’re always fighting over, and it’s finally gotten to the point where I can’t take it anymore.”

  “Does that one thing have anything to do with me?” asked Jacob.

  “He’s still jealous about my relationship with you,” I sighed. “He just can’t accept the idea that we’re good friends. You don’t know how many arguments I’ve had with him. It’s even gotten to the point where he’s now trying to control who I should and shouldn’t talk to.”

  “He must love you if he’s this insistent. What if he doesn’t let go?”

  “Would I go back with him?” I shuddered. “I don’t think so. There are too many other things we don’t agree on. He really doesn’t want to end it, but I can’t pretend to like him just for the sake of going out with someone. I’m just glad he doesn’t go to the same school. I don’t know what I would do if I saw him everyday. Too bad it’s different with Amber, huh?”

  “I really don’t care about that anymore,” said Jacob. “Now that it’s over, in a way I’m glad she’s found someone else and that everyone knows I’m no longer with her. I never really was in love with her anyway. The only thing I do regret is how she treated everyone, especially you.”

  “Me?” I said, taken back.

  “Remember that day at Devon’s when I was talking to you? That’s when I knew I had enough.”

  I still could vividly remember that day.

  We had been at Devon’s celebrating his seventeenth birthday when Amber had accused me of trying to steal her boyfriend, yelling that all his attention had to be on her. When I had told her that I hoped she wasn’t using him, she then had tried to hit me, except Jacob had intervened and grabbed her arm. They then had an argument right in front of everyone when he had started defending me. The last thing I remember was Jacob telling her that he swore if he ever heard her bad mouthing me again, he would end it right there. I thought he would have when she started screaming even louder at him. But rather than breaking up with her, he had given me an apologetic look and had followed Amber out the door.

  “Thanks for sticking up for me,” Jacob went on. “I really am sorry she tried to hit you.”

  “That shocked me too, but you shouldn’t feel sorry,” I said. “You even tried to stop her.”

  “Still, she shouldn’t have even tried. I don’t know why I always pick the wrong ones.”

  “Then maybe I should check out the next one you go out with and give you my approval first,” I joked, as we pulled into one of the stalls in the bowling alley’s parking lot.

  “You know, that might not be a bad idea,” he replied thoughtfully.

  “This is me joking, Jacob.”

  “And this is me not.”

  “Jacob, I really don’t think it would be right if I did that for you,” I said. “Maybe it’s better if you asked someone else. What about Matt? I’m sure someone like your cousin would know your tastes.”

  “He does, but he jokes around a bit too much. Please, Jenna? It’d mean a lot to me.”

  “Why me?”

  “You’re the only one who I actually trust with something like this,” he explained. “And I’m sure you also know my tastes better than anyone, even Matt.”

  “I’m glad you trust me, Jacob, but I really can’t help you out with this one.”

  “It’s worth a try,” he sighed. “Anyway, let’s go in so we can get this game going.”

  A half-hour later as I waited for my turn to bowl, Jacob’s strange request was still running through my head. Sure I was his friend, but he shouldn’t be letting me choose the next girl for him. How would he know if I wasn’t trying to make his life difficult by picking someone he really despised?

  “Hey, Jenna, you’re up,” said Alex.

  “All you need to do is get these last three strikes and you’ll win it for us girls,” said Katie.

  “Thanks for not giving me any pressure,” I said with sarcasm laced in my voice.

  “No problem,” she grinned.

  As I waited for the yellow ball I was using to appear in the shoot, I had to admit it had been sheer luck that I had gotten so many strikes. I was amazed I had gotten a spare on the first frame, and I became even more surprised that my score had continued in a strike-spare-strike pattern after that. Now with the girls’ side only down by ten points, how could I not feel the pressure of letting them down when the only way I could get those ten measly points is for me to get the last three strikes?

  Letting out a long sigh, I shook my head to erase any thoughts, sucked in a deep breath, and picked up my ball. I was suddenly distracted by Jacob appearing beside me.

  “Um….can I ask why you are staring at me?” I questioned him.

  “Am I?” he said with an innocent look.

  “Uh, yeah. You’re making me self-conscious and I can’t concentrate.”

  “Then maybe I should start doing it more often to get my way.”

  I’m sure he was kidding since his voice was light, but his eyes…his eyes had said something different altogether. I frowned.

  “And why would you do that?” I said.

  “So I could let everyone know how easily I beat a mere girl,” he chuckled.

  “You continue with that sentence and I’ll show you how non-girly I can be.”

  He let out another loud laugh, but his face then quickly turned with an expression I couldn’t place.

  “You know, I never noticed how dark your eyes really are. They’re very pretty.”

  I abruptly made a sucking noise which sounded remarkably like a plunger being lifted out of a plugged toilet. I didn’t think he’d be saying this because he wanted to win. The thought must have occurred to him too. Jacob’s skin turned pink.

  “If you think flattery is going to help you win, then I guess I’ll have to learn how to live with you trying to cheat,” I said. “I can’t keep giving you an unfair advantage if you’re going to keep looking at me like this. Especially now since the girls really are depending on me at this point to win.”

  “What if we make a bet?” he suggested.

  “Depends on what the bet is,” I said.

  Tapping a finger to his chin, he thought for a moment and said, “If you win, I’ll take you to dinner, and you can pick anywhere you want. Price is not an option.”

  “Pardon?”

  “I said I will treat you to any place for dinner.”

  “And what if you win?”

  “You owe me a kiss.”

  “Hey!” yelled Matt. “Stop flirting with each other and get back to the game! We’re getting antsy over here and want to find out who wins!”

  “We are not flirting!” retorted Jacob, his eyes never leaving mine. “Well, Jenna?”

  After
hearing that proclamation, I wasn’t sure if I could answer him eloquently. It threw me completely off guard. And since he was flashing me that same lopsided, one-dimpled smile, the only thing I could do was keep my mouth shut and nod my head.

  “Then the lane is all yours.”

  The tension in the air surrounding me was palpable as we all quietly watched my ball rumble and roll down the lane. When it finally made a loud crashing sound against the pins, a collective groan then came from the girls once we saw that the middle pin still stood. But rather than going over to the girls to console them as the guys erupted into loud cheers, I was frozen to the spot, nervous about the kiss I was supposed to give Jacob for losing the game. However, just as he began making his way towards me, we were interrupted by Nikki’s yell.

  “Hold it!” she screamed.

  Curious as to why she was rocking on the balls of her feet, the rest of us spun around and aimed our eyesight towards the end of the lane. The same pin I thought I hadn’t knocked down was now starting to wobble. A split second later, Katie and Nikki ran up and began jumping up and down, causing a slight vibration in the hardwood floor. Amy even got down on her hands and knees and blew hard. The high-pitched squeaks that accompanied their strange behaviour a moment later almost shattered my eardrums.

  “I guess congratulations are in order then,” said Jacob over the girls’ boisterous screams. “And I guess I owe you dinner too.”

  “I guess you do,” I said.

  Even though I was still a bit startled the girls had somehow managed to make the pin fall as we went to return our rented bowling shoes, my mind continued to wonder about why Jacob would make such a bet.

  “Now that the superior sex has won, what else should we do?” asked Katie.

  “How about we have a rematch?” suggested Alex.

  “I don’t really feel like playing another game,” said Devon.

  “Then what else is there to do?” asked Matt.

  “Let’s hang out by the pier,” said Jacob.

  Before anyone could answer him, Jacob grabbed onto the sleeve of my sweater, quickly tugged me out the doors, and started pulling me to his car.

  The full moon was high in the velvet sky by the time we reached Dundarave Village and found a place to park. The tide was high, and I could hear the waves crashing against the shore. As Jacob and I started along the moonlit boardwalk, a breeze of salty air from the crisp, late summer wind began blowing through the trees. Since it was cooler by the water when we got closer to the end of the pier, Jacob then took off his letterman’s jacket and handed it to me.

  “Aren’t you cold?” I asked, slipping my arms through the sleeves.

  “I’ll be fine,” he said.

  “Let me guess, the extra body fat?” I teased.

  “You mean muscle,” he grumbled.

  “I still say it’s the fat,” I grinned. “So, while we’re waiting for the rest of the gang to show up, can I ask why you betted a kiss from me?”

  “Oh, that. It was just something that popped into my head.”

  “And here I thought the most desired guy in school doesn’t need to make bets just to kiss a girl.”

  “I do not need to make bets just to kiss a girl,” he muttered.

  “No, all you have to do is just snap your fingers and a girl would appear with her willing mouth, waiting for you to plant your lips on top of theirs,” I laughed.

  “And who thinks that?”

  “Oh, come on, Jacob,” I said dubiously. “It’s clearly known around school that any girl wants to be with you. And with all the gossip going around about how much they like you, I’m sure they’d be jealous if they knew I was wearing your jacket.”

  “And what exactly do they say about me?” he asked, sounding eager.

  “Sorry, Jacob, but what we say in the girls’ locker room is confidential stuff. I’d be invading their private confessions if I told you what was said. I just don’t know why we tend to reveal more things in the strangest places.”

  “And that’s why I want to know. It’d be great to hear what you talk about in there. I’ll even share some of the things the guys talk about on our side.”

  “I’m not interested in hearing about any of the guys’ latest conquests. At least we talk about other things besides who we’ve slept with. And seeing that everyone thinks you’re such a sex symbol, I’m sure you guys all have plenty to talk about.”

  “I doubt I’m considered a sex symbol, Jenna,” said Jacob.

  “You may not, but others do. Even the girls think you’re gorgeous…but don’t let them know I told you. They’d kill me, especially Katie, for revealing this sacred information to you.”

  “Deal,” he chuckled.

  “You know, I’m still amazed that we can talk like this,” I went on. “When Matt had suggested for me to try and see if I could get you to lighten up since he didn’t want you shutting yourself from everyone all the time, I actually wasn’t sure if I’d be able to. I was even a little hesitant about talking to you. I know you become upset whenever Amy and Matt pry, and thought you probably preferred to be left alone. But then you came up to me. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad you did, except why am I able to get you out of your moods, yet no one else can?”

  “It’s because you don’t force anything out of me like the way Matt and Amy do,” he said. “And lately, since it feels like we’ve gotten closer over these past few months, I feel like I can come to you to discuss anything. That’s why you were the first person I told about what happened with Amber. I knew you wouldn’t tell anyone, even our friends. Speaking of them, what do you think is taking everyone so long?”

  “If I know Amy, she’s probably forcing your cousin to take their time so they could leave us alone,” I muttered.

  “Why would they need to do that?”

  “Huh?”

  “I said why would they need to leave us alone?”

  “Oh, um…”

  Luckily, I was saved from answering by Katie’s booming voice echoing through the sky as she ran towards us.

  “Why is she screaming?” Jacob asked me.

  “Not sure, but why don’t we go find out?” I said.

  “Only if you protect me from Katie’s wailing,” he grinned.

  “Agreed.”

  With one final shared laugh, the two of us got up from our seat at the edge of the pier and headed back toward our friends.

  It was clear that our friendship had shifted even more than the past summer. Given his strong arm currently residing along the tops of my shoulders holding me near as we headed back to meet up with our friends, I was ever-thankful that some changes were for the better. This was definitely one of those times.

  Chapter 3

  A New Friend

  Even though it was only three in the afternoon, the cumulous clouds looming through the dreary sky darkened the day as though it was seven at night. The beginning of October showers stormed down in fat droplets upon the ground. The weather was so gloomy, even the jogger down the block, who always went for a daily run with her dog, had decided to stay inside for the day. Apart from the occasional car passing by, and the pattering of the rain against my windowpane, the only other sounds were the dripping noises from a bucket in the kitchen that was quickly filling up due to a leaky roof.

  I was curled up on the paisley-print sofa in my living room, waiting for Amy to pick me for Katie’s eighteenth birthday party and feeling lulled by the warmth of the roaring fire from the brick fireplace washing over my face. Watching the water droplets fusing together against the window, I finally heard a honk and a splash coming from her green Volkswagon Beetle pulling against the curb and quickly got up from my comfortable seat. Tugging on my hooded parka, I then grabbed my present for Katie, tucked it under my jacket so it wouldn’t get went, and headed out the door.

  The clouds were churning menacingly and the skies were rumbling and cracking by the time we reached West Bay. Going around the round-about, we finally came upon Katie’s new pl
ace situated at the top of the hill.

  Her three-story Craftsman-style home was like mine, except hers was painted a chocolate brown instead of deep green. A wrought iron gate and a hedged border surrounded the stone porch, while a granite driveway led up to the double French front doors. Inside, the ceilings were high, the carpet was cream instead of pink, and there was even a limestone fireplace in the living room. Unlike my house, which felt like it was still trapped in the sixties, each room of Katie’s house was also painted in different, rich hues.

  Amy and I then entered into Katie’s kitchen, and we felt awed. The walls were painted a deep, crimson red, the appliances were made of chrome, the cabinets were glazed in an ivory colour, the flooring was red oak, and the wall above the stove had a mural depicting a vineyard that was made from ceramic tiles.

  “I still don’t know why you won’t go for Jacob,” sighed Amy. “It doesn’t hurt to try.”

  “The last time I thought Jacob liked me, it didn’t pan out like how I wanted it to,” I said.

  “I know it didn’t, but that was so long ago,” she said. “Now you have the opportunity to go for him since you’re both single.”

  “Ames, I’m not going to just go out with him because we’re both available.”

  “Just because you say that you are, I doubt he thinks of you as only just a friend, Jen. You’ve spent more time at Jacob’s house over the summer than I ever have, and I’m dating his cousin.”

  “That’s not my fault now, is it?”

  “No, but then what about the fact that Jacob also broke it off with Amber?” she added. “Maybe it’s a sign he now wants to start up something with you. He even flirted with you during bowling last week.”

  “Everybody tends to flirt once in a while. Besides, I think he needs time off and so do I.”

  “Does he know about your breakup with Ethan?”

  “He does.”

  “And how did he react?”

  “He was sorry my relationship had gone sour, but his voice made me feel like he was a bit too happy I was no longer with Ethan.”

  “He wants you,” she grinned.